Through the echoing halls of altered perception do I hear your cries! Whispering like the winds across the golden sands from Ombos to Nubia, like fingers gliding across curves of flesh that bring to mind the shapely borders of the Nile!
Yes, my loyal followers, Mighty Set, Sutekh of the Underworld, has journeyed through the chaos and storm again to bring hope to the hopeless, joy to the joyless, clues for the clueless, and booze for those who "forgot their ID at home and look young but are TOTALLY 21, dude, it's cool, for realz".
You pray for answers, wisdom, guidance and earth-shattering orgasms, and Set is here to make those prayers and dreams reality - sometimes two or three times a night, maybe more if I'm chasing Vicodin with Viagra.
To my most beloved Dark One,
A humble servants begs for her Master's words of wisdom. there is a man that i desire above all else. he is pure of heart (or so he claims) and something within me -must- corrupt him. So far i have been unable to find his weakness. What is the key to the depths of a man's most dark desires? i await your wise words and guidance...
- anqet
Ahh, dear follower - in seeking anonymity you have done well in choosing an alias!
Ahh, Anuket...those were some good times. Fertility goddess. And the personification of the Nile! I mean, c'mon! A river goddess! She's always wet! Seriously, no waiting! I digress!
False Anqet - you pose an excellent query. For too long the lies about the way to a man's heart being his stomach have been propagated by the ignorant, unwashed masses. One look at the lineup at McDonalds will prove that most men are already taking that matter into their own hands. If you know what I mean. And I think you do. Masturbation.
So yes, dear False Anqet, you have minded your path well in taking these tentative steps to TRULY owning and commanding the heart of your lust object. A pure heart is an empty heart, and an empty heart must runneth over with steaming hot love!
The first thing you must do in order to properly bring this creature into the fold, so to speak, is to observe him in a carefully arranged controlled environment. We will invoke the Scientific Method and introduce the subject to a particular setting and monitor how he reacts.
For this first experiment, I recommend
The Big Party.
First, acquire a recording device of some kind - tape recorder, digital audio recorder, or similar device. Establish a minimum safe distance and do not break it.
Over the course of The Big Party, you will proceed to get well and truly trashed. Nevertheless, you must remain vigilant and record everything that you observe about your subject: behaviour, posture, drinking habits, friends, acquaintances, reactions to advances from others (excluding yourself, False Anqet! You must have a modicum of patience, for this night you are playing the role of the passive observer so that in the future your subject may play the role of active oral sex provider).
When you have regained the full use of your faculties (five or six days following The Big Party, if you coordinated The Big Party correctly), analyze your data. (As an aside, a notebook is inadequate for this kind of work, as you will likely lose the use of your hands about halfway through The Big Party if you are doing The Big Party correctly).
How did the subject react? Was he wooed by the advances of other participants? If so, he may not be as pure as you were inclined to believe. Did he imbibe alcohol, narcotics, prescription drugs, over the counter cough syrup, household cleaning agents, amphibian excretions, or other mind or body affecting substances? If so, how long did his willpower hold out? If not, was it because you did not have enough substances on hand? And if you did have enough substances on hand, who is your supplier? Because I'm always looking for new names to add to my book of suppliers.
Where was I? Ah yes! Once the data has been analyzed, you should have a significant amount of material to work with regarding your masturbatory fantasy object. Which means you are ready for Step The Second.
Lure the poor, doomed soul to your dwelling under false pretenses. Bible Study, Abstinence Anniversary Celebratory Dinner, or Kevin Sorbo Movie Marathon are all good suggestions for drawing in the pure, misguided and naive.
Once your subject is within your domicile, he will likely wonder where the other guests are. Provide him with your most potent lies - You don't know, Car trouble, Irritable Bowel, All killed in a freak cholera outbreak...these are all excellent ideas. Try to put his mind at ease. Allow him to get comfortable on the couch. Offer him drinks. If he resists alcohol, offer him water or fruit juice. When he finally relents, use your sojourn to the kitchen to get the handcuffs and silk rope you have stashed there in preparation for this meeting.
Instead of returning with the promised refreshments, creep up behind your subject and bind him to the couch. Use the handcuffs to minimize struggling.
An alternate method here is to pretend you have dropped something under the couch, and when you stoop in front of him to retrieve it, draw the handcuffs from their hiding place beneath the couch and cuff his ankles together. This will prevent him from running away, and will buy you ample time to carefully secure his wrists.
And with your lust object bound in your home, the doors locked and the threat of disturbance orchestrated to the absolute minimum, you are ready for the final component, the true answer to your question, False Anqet:
To truly glean the darkest desires of your subject is folly! If your subject is pure of heart, then he has no dark desires to draw out!
Therefore, your only course of action is to force YOUR darkest desires upon HIM, over and over and over again until he is reduced to a trembling, flaccid shell of a man, and you crawl off of him, knees shaking, heart racing, the culmination of your hard work running down your thighs, clinging to your chin, and mixing with the sweat on your glistening cleavage.
Yes, False Anqet, once he has been properly introduced to the darkest desires of a loyal follower, then, and ONLY then, will his shattered mind begin to rebuild itself in my terrible image, formulating carnal dreams and narcotic cocktails of it's own.
Only then will he be prepared to embrace MY throbbing glory, and it will be YOUR responsibility to convince him that my glory can be found within YOUR willing orifices!
So it is said, so shall it be done! In accordance with the prophecy, I command you to heed my wise teachings and to forward all video footage to ME, so that I may be certain you have done my bidding to the letter! (If you have any hot friends, I suggest you get them to handle the camera, as you will likely have your hands full!)
dearset@gmail.com
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